Once there was a little boy
who shined ever so bright.
He befriended the sun by day
and whispered secrets to the moon at night.

The little boy felt lonely
so he ventured beyond his world.
Deep in the dark, gloomy shadows
he stumbled upon a girl.

At first the boy was hesitant
and unsure of what to say.
Eventually he mustered his courage
and invited her to play

Soon he found something very strange
about the little girl in black-
when he tried to make conversation
she never uttered a word back.

Eventually the boy felt tired
and as he slept late into the night
The girl crept slyly into his heart
and switched off all the lights.

24 hours in 1 day; January 24. 
That was the mnemonic I used to remember your birthday.

Ironically enough, 
you cried when you told me 
while I was on a strange, jovial high.
The conversation was speckled 
with laughter and disappointment yet 
I'll honestly tell you that conversation 
was the best we've probably had in a while.

You asked me why I wasn't upset or angry. 
I told you I probably 
suffered from 'delayed reaction syndrome' 
and I'll probably cry later 
when everything hits me. 

The first time I cried 
was when I examined my body 
and realized your love bite was no longer there.
I suppose that was when 
it truly hit me I had lost you.

I cried in several intervals-
horrid, interrupted, breaks of unfulfilled cries. 
It was at two in the morn', 
then five when I had to pee, 
ten when I thought of you again 
and one in the afternoon 
when I told myself to just let go.

As I sat and cried, 
I thought of how pathetic I looked 
and laughed to myself 
as I imagined telling you this. 
Then I stopped laughing.

I turned to the pianoforte for solace, 
thinking perhaps the dancing keys 
would soothe me. 
I only managed four chords 
before breaking down.

I told myself out loud to stop crying. 
Eventually, I just let myself 
wallow and cry 
because I knew I needed to to heal.

I asked you if you were happy 
and after the second ask, 
you said you were.

You asked me in frustration 
why I didn't hate you. 
I'm still trying 
to figure that out myself.

It amazes me on how 
I harbour no negative feelings 
towards you.
I hope it stays this way.

You asked 'Are you okay?'
and then you answered 
'No, of course 
you're not okay, 
what a stupid question' 
and then you said
 'I'm so sorry' and 
ended it with my name. 

I replied 'It's alright' 
and then you said 
'No, it isn't' 
and the cycle repeated itself.

You said I would have more time 
to focus on my assignments now 
and that I wouldn't have to look 
at the awful stickers that 
accompanied your messages. 
Somehow, it didn't make me feel any better.

I told you to take care of her, 
to be chivalric and make sure 
she walked on the inside of the road 
and to hold her hand for reassurance- 
just like you used to do for me.

As I got out of the car,
I wished you a happy life. 
But I genuinely mean it, 
I do.


-Two days later; January 28.