I am uncertain. I am uncertain.
A Crumpet trumpet.
I feel strange and so alone and I wish, I wish there was a way for me to express myself more articulately. To truly write about the little thoughts that go on in my mind to the small jolts and feelings that run through my veins. How can I honestly tell you how I feel, when I don't even know myself?
A Do Re Mi for Me
I am waiting for you to write me a story on the piano.
With the stagnant little 'bean sprouts' on the five strands on noodles-
Ah! How you love to relate music to your next passion- food.
I shall sit by your side
as you guide your fingers along the black and white keys.
Where you tell the story of how we met in a major,
and the sad, dismal part of our lives in a minor.
Then your fingers will dance their way to a trippy happy key,
I think maybe a C or D?
Then comes the famous Pachelbel melody
which couples marry to.
Oh, that will be the day.
In a way to say,
I doubt we'll ever meet again.
And if we do...well, just if.
Step down from the other direction.
That was why I went for the programme.
Mainly because i knew it was the right thing to do,
and somehow not going would make me regret.
And so I am back after two weeks or 14 days.
It is now the day after (the dreaded Monday morning)
and thank God I have none of the school morning nuisance to worry about.
Speaking of which, I need to start deciding on a school to enroll into.
But I digress.
I must say I have indeed enjoyed the two weeks I have been away.
Friendships have blossomed and sadly time spent together ended
just as soon as they began.
I 'm afraid I can't elaborate more as my mind refuses to
accurately convert my thoughts into words for you.
I shall lock them up in my memories and save them for another time,
if that's okay with you.
Noting notes- just in case I forget:
Useful bucket, makeshift ladder cum clothes hanger, tower climbing, Monopoly Deal, queue-free showers, Water Polo, Guess-the-Food, order in tuna cans, edible fleur-de-lys, feline couple names, a single leg hair, BGR talk, late night sharing, a food storage over her head, the girl who packed comfortably,
and the notable 8 piece non-edible chocolate bar, angry dance and war face.
It has been a memorable time and I thank you kindly.
I think I shall treat myself to a movie tomorrow.
Goodbye and goodnight, my dear.
The Annual Austen Affair.
"He's here!" She exclaimed, "Mummy, mummy, he's back again!"
Kitty drew back excitedly from the window,
face flushed and unable to stay still.
We hurriedly recomposed ourselves and tidied up any stray hair
and sat demurely with grace in the living room.
I sat near Jane and heard her inhale sharply
as his footsteps echoed across the wooden hallway.
Mr. Bingley looked nervous but composed as he always did.
We exchanged polite greetings- a head bow followed by several curtsies.
Mr. Bingley warmly acknowledged the entire family
but he clearly only had eyes for my beloved sister.
He requested to speak to 'Miss Bennet and Miss Bennet alone'
and I swore I saw my mother's face lit up in silent glee
as she kissed my sister before departing to the kitchen,
shooing my younger sisters in her wake.
I glanced at Jane and smiled knowingly,
hoping for the best for what was about to come.
She returned a nervous smile
and I closed the door behind me.
***
Mother and Kitty plastered themselves to the door, ear first,
and I sought refuge against the banister.
The moments inched by in slow silence
and somehow I could just bare it no longer.
I ran out of the house before their cheerful eruptions
could reach my ears.
I thought about many things as I
sat myself down by the old ancient tree
that came with our estate.
About Jane and her soon to be maiden name,
about her sadness when she first received Mr. Bingley's letter,
about the radiance that spread across her beautiful face when Mr.Bingley graced the room,
and about me and my feelings-
Oh! Dare I admit it to myself-
my feelings I presume I might have- just possibly, if such a thing were possible-
for Mr. Darcy.
Lydia has already eloped with the terrible scoundrel Mr.Wickham-
something us Bennets have learn to accept.
And now there is Mr.Bingley,
who is soon to become part of the family,
and who, I know, will make Jane
so terribly elated.
Somehow I know I wish to inform Mr. Darcy
of my misjudgments and proud thinking.
But something on the inside stops me.
Be it pride, or dignity,
I couldn't really tell.
But I knew I love Mr. Darcy,
and I would tell him so if,
the chance ever came by.
I notice a distant figure approaching the meadows
and clear my head straightaway.
As fate may have it,
Mr. Darcy strode into the clearing.
Before I could say anything,
he silenced me and said:
"My affections and wishes have not changed,
but one word from you will silence me forever.
If, however, your feelings have changed,
I will have to tell you:
you have bewitched me, body and soul,
and I love, I love, I love you.
I never wish to be parted from you from this day on."
And the rest, as they say, is history.
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