and to truly embrace the social aspect of consumerism and all the supposedly 'feel good' 

things the world has to offer. 

I want the glorious scent of gingerbread wafting through the air,

tempting me to reward my palates with its oh so yummy flavour.

I want to see snow.

I want to crane my head back and watch 

each individual piece with its personal mark and pattern

fall lazily from the sky

and ever so sway effortlessly with the gentle breeze of the cool air.
I want to face my palm skywards and wait for one of the delicate pieces
to fall onto my hand and melt upon touch-
as though I am destructive with everything I come in contact with.

I want to hear Mr. Bublé crone me happy holiday tunes with that
deep mellow voice of his
and I want to feel giddy and nice and just plain non-thinking and worrying
as I stroll down the streets and visually absorb all the
red and white paraphernalia the stores have on display
to entice customers to spend their money.

On a side note,
it has been two days since my return and
I am thankfully recovering from my disorientation.
I suppose being back in the comfort of my yellow chair
makes me miss the busyness of the street
where you'd walk for miles
and mingle with the thousands of other worry bodies
who you'll never know the full stories of.

My yearning to work in a place where I can make people happy
may have stemmed from the surprising desires of kindness
I have hidden and rooted deep in me.

I feel a bit lost at the moment,
and I wish to drown myself in the good Christmas vibes this year.
I hope the Christmas of the year of the previous' will not repeat itself.

I wish you well and I congratulate you on your survival.