strange species

I like to wonder how much I've changed over the span of 2 1/4 years.
The fact that I've transitioned slowly over to a new genre, so to speak, is just completely unconceivable.
Well, perhaps it is conceivable now since it did happen.
But change is amazing to witness.
The entire process, the slow part by part where
a bud becomes a rose, a girl becomes a lady,
a person becomes someone.

I don't know how to describe myself to you, truly I don't.
I am not one who would satisfy by simply stating several adjectives to sum up
the entire complex component that makes me, me.

I remember when I used to be able to say talk like how everyone would
or should we say, socialize, in a very conventional manner
without getting the odd look here and there.
Now that I've become a different person with strange interests
I would say I have somewhat lost my sense of socializing,
or maybe I've simply picked up odd traits that do not mingle well with the generals.
Ah, well one cannot have one's cake and eat it too.

A virtual friend noted that I was 'like an enigma to a mystery'
and that is rather captivating, might I add.

Mysterious things always pull at our curiousity-
just enough to fascinate and delight us too.

And I, for one, will just be content with that.

To a new found friend




  "People are rare creatures that I admire from afar. It’s like coaxing a wild animal to approach and take the food you’re offering, and at the last second you step on a twig and it makes a resounding “CRACK!” and they go scampering off."

 I hope you don't mind me including this in here.
I found your thoughts and viewpoint of the human species
to be thoroughly...interesting.
My apologies on the lack of a better adjective.
But I think you'd be a delightful individual to have a conversation with soon.

Take care where ever you are.

kind torment



I try to think of the good and the good things in life.
All the good things.
The good, nice, pleasant,
small, tiny, lonely, unseen and easily forgettable things.

You see, me and Life have been on conflicting terms lately.
She throws some obstacle at me,
I cry but will myself to stay strong.
So strong so the Capitol will have one extra pawn to deal with
and hopefully, one more obstacle they'll have to defeat.

So once an obstacle is overcome,
I learn to heal.
Day by day, I will myself to take it as a lesson
and try to have a more positive approach towards all things.

But it's difficult, I tell you.
I find it a challenge to not be pessimistic about things when
everything around me is no doubt deteriorating, destroying;
sinking into a deeper state of ugly obscenity.

Somewhere, there is hope.
It might be just a small spark-
But we'll pray and have hope.

I wish you all a pleasant evening.

Visual Image

I have a face!
A mental image, so near- so close,
I can almost reach out and touch-
my fingers run down the soft curve
smoothly down to the lips-
and when I open my eyes-
it's gone.

It's so strange as I never have a clearly defined face
like I do now.
And oh! It feels me with so much joy-
dare I say it- I think I feel just a bit happy.
And it's a nice kind of happy.
To know what this person looks like.

But I must know how my subconscious conjured up this mental image.
How? Where?
Have I met this person before?
Is this person someone I know?
The questions bug me endlessly.

What if I do meet this person in the future?
How will I respond then?
Will I even tell- oh no, I cannot.
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